The Biscuits 2011

By on 3 April, 2011 in Fun with 0 Comments

We love baseball.

Knowing this, a very kind person purchased “season tickets” for us for the Montgomery Biscuits. I use the term in quotation marks because “season tickets” as the Montgomery Biscuits see it means something very different than what we (and perhaps you) understood it to mean.

It would seem from historical usage of the phrase, along with a literal interpretation of what the words mean, that “season tickets” would be a package of tickets enabling the holder to attend every game in a given season. Not so with the Biscuits, which are the AA franchise of the Tampa Bay Rays (they dropped the word “devil” from the official team name because, I guess, it sounded Satanic or something … even though that’s still a commonly accepted term for the creature that the team was named after).

You get a giant packet of stuff.


So what’s a “season ticket” to our local minor league team? Oh, you know, a booklet of tickets allowing you to attend six games. You can also buy a 12-game package, a 35-game package, or actual tickets to every game.

Look, we’re not complaining about getting the tickets. We’re excited to see the local boys try to reclaim the Southern League title. And as an affiliate of a (now) well-run franchise, you’re likely to see some good talent pass through on the way to the majors. Since Tampa Bay was historically bad, they got lots of high draft picks, which they used well on good players, who then got promoted to the bigs quickly (see aforementioned lack of talent), and who have since become superstars. As such, the Biscuits have been home (at least for a little while) to such current MLB stars as Evan Longoria and David Price.

It may well be that the Biscuits call these little six game packages “season tickets” because it sounds cool to be in a bar and tell someone that you’re a season ticket holder. It makes it sound like you are in for 80 games of home baseball, a true fan, the most die hard. And maybe that is intended to encourage those jealous friends to themselves become “season ticket holders,” which is made all the easier by defining the term downward. Heck, maybe the geniuses in the marketing department can call a ticket to a double-header a “season ticket,” since it is in fact a ticket that allows you to see a part of the team’s season.

Does a butter tongue taste itself?

So what will we expect to see this year? Well, first of all, there’s the gem of a ballpark that makes even the worst teams worth going out to see. The train and the river make the baseball experience a perfect blend of Montgomery living, seamlessly integrating the time spent outdoors into the fabric of our city’s culture. The players rotate, as they do often in the minors (except for outfielder John Matulia, who seems like he has been a Biscuit forever).

Birmingham native Desmond Jennings is gone, but the rumor is that we’ll be seeing not one but two number one overall draft picks this year. We’d heard that shortstop Tim Beckham might start the year in Montgomery, and already listed on the Biscuits’ site is Matt Bush. Beckham was picked number one overall in 2008, ahead of a few guys you may have heard of, including that Rookie of the Year you may have seen playing the World Series last October, Buster Posey.

Bush, on the other hand, is already listed on the Biscuits’ roster after signing with the Rays as a free agent back in January. He was the first player selected in the 2004 draft, taken by the Padres as a highly-touted (obviously) hometown guy. All of which made it all the more painful when Padres fans realized that their team had passed on, say, Stephen Drew, in order to take a guy that was suspended by the team before his first ever spring training (nightclub fight), involved in another fight in Peoria in 2008, and ultimately cut by the Padres after yet another fight among high school lacrosse players. While we’re pulling for Matt to turn things around as a Biscuit, we’re also fascinated to go see the guy that, it has been suggested, may have been the worst draft pick in the history of baseball.

So the team, ably coached by Billy Gardner (a very nice man), will be fun to see. The pitching staff is predicted to be very strong. The opening country music song played before every game will be horrible. Strange mutant anteater creature Big Mo will prance about. Veggie burgers and beer will be consumed. And baseball, as it always has been since the time of our grandparents … will remain the national pasttime … or at least the thing that people around here do until college football starts.

Go Biscuits!

The Montgomery Biscuits begin their 2011 season with their home opener on April 7 against the Birmingham Barons. The team will hold their annual “Meet the Team” event at Eastdale Mall on Wednesday, April 6th at 6:00 p.m. The event, which is free, will take place adjacent to the Ice Skating Rink near the Food Court.

Kate and Stephen are Midtown residents with a cat, a dog, a garden, an old house and a sense of adventure. They write about life in Midtown here and about life in Montgomery at their blog Lost in Montgomery.

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